The first and more important, exercise some common sense. If you show up between 6 and 8 on a weekend, don't complain about waiting. If you show up with more than 4 people, don't complain about waiting. If you insist on a booth, don't complain about waiting. If you want a specific server, DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT WAITING. If you're having a large party, know how many people are actually showing up. Send out a mass text on the way, it's not that hard, and makes us be able to seat you faster.
When you get to your table, and you server is forced to go through their spiel to greet you, don't interrupt. We're probably about to tell you about deals, and more importantly, when they're introducing themselves, do not cut them off as they're saying their name to say, "I'll have a coke." When you can't remember what your server's name is later, and you're saying HEY YOU and wondering why they don't come running, don't be surprised. Take the time to let them speak. If they ask you a question, answer - don't stare at them silent.
If you order a frozen drink, it will take more time to make. Same goes for a well done steak. If you want it done right, don't repeatedly ask where it is. Trust us, we want the charge on your check. It's coming - swear. If you don't like seafood, don't order it, try it, and then send it back. Stick to what you know you like, or what you can safely guess sounds good to you. Don't eat all your food and then send it back, you look like an asshole. If you order a steak medium, there will be blood... if you order it medium well there will be some pink - if you don't like that, don't order it that way. If there's something legitimately wrong with your food, or it comes out different then you ordered it, we have no problem fixing it for you - and that will not result in body fluids showing up in your food. If you know ordering food you're going to want 7 sides of ranch with your fries, don't wait til we bring it out to ask- and then ask for each one 3 minutes apart. Other people need things. Consolidate your requests so I'm not at your table every minute, and neglecting other people.
If you plan to sit at your table for an extra hour after you're done, you better be tipping the equivalent of another table. You took up space in our limited sections and cut down our money for the night. If you want to hang out, go to the bar, they have plenty of space and no problem with loitering. Or Starbucks. When it comes to tipping, please first understand that servers are not paid hourly in many places, and under 5 bucks everywhere else. Leaving under 10 percent means we paid to serve you by tipping the other people in the restaurant - hostesses, bussers, bar staff. We don't get to not tip out because you didn't tip. If you can't afford to tip, order your food to go - you'll save money on your drinks and won't waste our time... and yes, we remember the ones that don't tip, and your service will reflect it next time. In case it's somehow still unclear, proper tipping is considered 18-20% for average service. Awesome service deserves anything greater than that. Shitty service gets 15%, minimum, and just about everything has to go wrong for that even be vaguely considered acceptable - which is not the same as your server forgot your 15th plate of lemons you're squeezing into your water and adding sugar. If you know off the bat you're a pain in the ass, please tip accordingly. The more of our time you use the less time we have to help other people, and the tips from them will reflect that.
Most importantly, be polite. It doesn't help to get mad at your server that the kitchen is taking too long to make your food - they can't help that. (Not really fair to take it out on their tip either.) It's never okay to curse your server out or mock them, they're trying to take care of your needs. If they're at another table, don't yell over to them... wait your turn like you learned in kindergarten. If you're in a bad mood, don't take it out on us. If you have to ask how much something is, you probably can't afford it - don't get mad when you see your bill that it's dollars more than you imagined it would be in your head.
Mostly though, be considerate and understand a server is also a person- and act accordingly.
