I figured out the problem.

Apparently, I'm jaded. Yea, you probably know this already. But I've decided that lately I've been jaded about this blog, mostly cuz, every time I show up, that's an hour I'm taking away from the other things I do. The other things I do that are special and unique that no one else can do the way I do, and sure- that could probably be said for here. But blogs are a dime a dozen, and this certainly isn't my career path.

I'm not a hypocrite. I don't continually badger you to do better just so I can rest on my laurels.

So with that being said, I'll show up here when I have something legit to say, but it certainly won't be daily.

Be brave, kids... and follow through, for fuck's sake.

See you when I see you :)

Just Another Manic Monday

Hope everyone had a stellar weekend.

So, last week was rough. I'm imagining that everyone was mostly on the same page, with that whole douchebags blowing people up in Boston thing. I got to end my week with a random flood of half our apartment, so that was swell... the joys of living on the first floor.

I really had planned to come back today for serious business, but I've been staring at this blank post page for 45 minutes, and frankly, if I'm not going to be inspired today, I have other things I could be doing.

I have had a lot on my mind lately, so it's not really any surprise that I'm not just flooding with ideas. Actually, that's not entirely accurate - I have a whole list of things I plan to write about here, but for whatever reason I'm still just not feeling it.

I'm not making excuses. I just do things on my own schedule, and yea, I'm not gonna apologize for that.

At least I'm showing up, right? Half credit.

If you're interested in helping, do something stupid that I can mock you about in roughly 500 words, thanks.

Hot Mess

It's a good thing I'm already slacking this week, cuz I get to clean up a flood now.

Me, Myself & I

I really try not to use this blog to talk about myself, but overall I'm just not feeling it this week, so frankly, I'll do whatever the fuck I want on here, since ya know - it's mine.

It's funny cuz it's not like I have writer's block. I'm forever plagued by writer's block. This isn't one of those times. Which is exceptionally weird for me, but really my biggest issue with writing lately is my extremely uncomfortable computer chair. And for me, that's saying a lot.

So why have I basically dodged doing any kind of actual content here this week? Mostly cuz I've been working on other projects. Substantial projects, the kind that give you actually interesting things and in more than bite sized pieces. I suppose also for the most part, I haven't seen many of you doing exceptionally stupid things this week. Sure, there's other stuff I plan to write about here, but none of it is currently resonating with me.

I'm breaking my own rule here, writing about nothing for the sake of showing up here and putting my fingers to the keyboard. Mostly cuz I want you to know, whatever- it's a bad week. That's not an indication of anything except that I'm female and feeling a bit moody and a touch uninspired. I've quit before, and just so we're clear, that's not what this is.

I'd get a bit more into it and explain why my other projects are draining the creative out before I ever get around to conceptualizing something valid for here, but that will be revealed in due time. I'm not talking about it cuz I have a tendency to jinx myself when I get something going on the kind of hot streak I'm on with it right now, so in the interest of finishing what I start... I'll let you know when I'm ready.

Hope you're having a good week.

Quality > Quantity

So I have this thing where I refuse to get in the habit where I think it's okay to just slap together some bullshit content just to say I posted here everyday. I don't feel like it today, so I'm not gonna. I'm killing my to do list, and I'm not gonna stop while I'm on a roll. Never break your own streaks. See you tomorrow, kids.

Tragedy

Out of respect for the victims, friends and families of those hurt or killed in yesterday's bombings at the Boston Marathon, I'll be observing a moment of silence today. We'll discuss some other day how you guys can't even manage to do disaster right.

Linkapolooza

Happy Monday, friends & frenemies!

First things first, if you're paying attention, you'd see that my favorite site to get music mp3crank.com is not updating... at least it looks like that, anyway. But if you go to their twitter, you'll see links still being posted. Suggestion: grab the new Fall Out Boy album, cuz I'm obsessed.

And in other news, since I'm in a link sharing mood, here's a few of my favorite sites for never paying full price for anything:

Brads Deals : Really great for new stuff everyday and super low prices, they post stuff from all over the web. This is also my go to site when Black Friday rolls around cuz they always have all the ads extra early.

1saleaday : Daily deals site. So much awesome. Especially great on jewelry and electronics.

Raining Hot Coupons : Great site. All sorts of fabulous. They also post links for free stuff, and who doesn't like free? I've gotten 2 free magazine subscriptions from filing out a 2 minute survey thanks to them.

And just cuz I'm in a good mood, my favorite/most useful website of all time:

Moreofit : Post url to your fave websites. It'll return results more for a bunch just like it. Especially excellent for shopping.

Enjoy your day / retail therapy! I'll see you tomorrow for more serious business.

A Lesson in Absurdity

Believe it or not, there's some REALLY stupid laws in this country. Not regular stupid, but like super extra special stupid. STILL ON THE BOOKS.

Illegal to have Christmas decorations up after January 14th. (Maine)
Illegal for a man to buy drinks for more than 3 people at a time. (Nevada)
Once convicted of drunk driving, you can never have personalized plates. (New Jersey)
A pickle is not officially a pickle unless it bounces. (Connecticut)
You must be 18 years old to play a pinball machine. (South Carolina)
There is a $500 fine for asking a pizza delivery driver to deliver a pizza to a friend unknowingly. (Louisiana)
Illegal to own more than 2 dildos. (Arizona)
Illegal for fire trucks to go over 25 mph, at any time. (Parts of Connecticut)
Illegal to gossip or talk behind someone's back. (Indiana)
Illegal to play the fiddle. (Boston, Massachusetts)
You can be sued by a robber who is injured while in your house. (Michigan)
Illegal to frown at a policeman. (New Jersey)
Illegal to sing off-key. (North Carolina)
Illegal to wear shoes to bed. (North Dakota)
Must have a permit to wear makeup. (Morrisville, Pennsylvannia)
Illegal for a woman to wear "body hugging clothes" on the street. (New York)
Illegal for idiots or lunatics to get married. (Rhode Island)
Illegal to possess the Encyclopedia Brittanica. (Texas)
Drinking and dancing cannot be held in the same place. (Lynden, Washington)
Illegal to worry a squirrel. (Milwaukee, Wisconsin)
Masks may not be worn in public. (Alabama)
Doors of all public buildings must open outwards. (Florida)
Adultery is still illegal. (New York)
Against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season. (New Jersey)
Illegal to tap your feet, nod your head or otherwise keep time to music in any restaurant, tavern or cafe. (New Hampshire)
Criminals must give their victims 24 hour notice, orally or in writing, and explain the nature of the crime to be committed. (Texas)
You may only have one alcoholic drink in front of you at a time. (Hawaii)
Women may not wear pants. (Tucson, Arizona)
All sex toys are illegal. (Georgia)
Illegal to talk to someone on an elevator. (New York)
Illegal to change clothes in your car. (Delaware)
Illegal to ride a merry-go-round on a Sunday. (Idaho)
If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed. (Kansas)

I could keep going. There are literally thousands of these. Most of which aren't helping anyone from being hurt, and some of them actually hurt people. So considering the ways your rights are absurdly infringed without any possible good coming from it, does it really seem so ridiculous to ask you to pass a background check before buying a gun? Yea, not so much.

How To Improve Your Life This Week

I'm pretty sure we all know by now that I love to tell you what you're doing wrong, so today we're gonna talk about things you could easily start doing to generally do better.

1) Take your vitamins - It sounds obvious, right? So are you making it a point to do that? Maybe not. But once you start, you'll realize your mood, productivity and health improve. Also, if you're like me and in love with energy drinks, you'll realize you don't need those quite as much as you might have thought.

2) Exercise, somehow - This is as much for me as you guys, cuz I absolutely HATE exercise (the perils of having been naturally skinny for the majority of my life). Exercise creates endorphins, which make you happier and the whole exercise thing will make you healthier. If you're extra lazy and opposed, come up with a workout plan that's designed to work like a drinking game during your favorite TV show. Every time someone says their trademark line, do 20 pushups, or whatever. Adjust it to your desired level of activity.

3) Talk to someone you miss - We all get busy and sometimes that means friendships slip through the cracks. And this can go on for years, just forgetting to call someone you legitimately care about because you were busy organizing your fridge or whatever. Make some time for someone you haven't in a while and would like to, and you'll feel better almost immediately.

4) Apologize to someone that deserves it - You probably acted like an asshole to someone in your lifetime, we all have. If you regularly think about it, just suck up your pride and say you're sorry already. Karma will thank you.

5) Get the hardest item off your To Do list - If you consistently make it a habit to get the more difficult stuff out of the way earlier, the rest of your projects will go easier. Check out my post on making a To Do list to help you decide what's the task demon you should be vanquishing.

6) Do something good for your brain - Read a book. Start learning the language you've always wanted to. Even if you just open the dictionary and learn a new word everyday, you're enriching your brain. And it's fact that if you don't use it, you'll lose it - and that's not a cliche, that's scientific evidence referring to your brain cells.

7) Relax and think - spend some time doing absolutely nothing but relaxing and marinating on your thoughts. You can meditate, if you're into that sort of thing, or just watch the sunset everyday and ponder. Alone time is good for your soul. Our brains also work out problems for us when given a chance to not be doing 20 things at once.

8) Drink less - Here's a challenge for you borderline alcoholics that like to claim you're just social drinkers : go stone cold sober for the week. Give your liver a break, seriously.

9) Spend less time on social networking - You don't really need to know what everyone you're vaguely associated with is up to. Especially if you're just lurking to compare your life to other peoples. Worry about yourself.

10) Take some time to make sure you're doing something you like to do - Maybe you love the beach, but never make time to go. Or you just wanna sit and listen to music instead of it only being background noise. Whatever it is, make it a point to indulge yourself a little. You deserve it.

11) Get a good night's sleep, at least once - Take melatonin or something if you have to, but get a solid 8 uninterrupted hours to refresh and catch up on any missed sleep. Your body will thank you.

12) Make a budget - If you don't already have a budget in place, set one up so you can keep track of where your money goes. It'll take you no more than an hour and help you plan for years to come.

13) Keep track of where your time goes - Clock everything you do for a couple days. Figure out where you're wasting time, and cut that down to a more reasonable level. Do something fun or productive with your extra time as a reward.

14) Drink the appropriate amount of water - I couldn't tell you what the actually ounces are, since I hugely fail on this... but Google it and start doing it. Ideally, set up times for yourself where you are supposed to drink however much to keep you on schedule. Most people are perpetually dehydrated, which is never good for you. Even if you refuse to cut out your coffee-soda-energy trifecta, at least you're balancing it out for a change.

Doctor B prescribes you take 2 of these tips a day for the next week, and you'll be feeling much better. Oh, and probably eat an apple or something too.

World Wide WTF

So when I was 12 or so, this pretty cool thing happened. I created my first screen name, and sat and listened to the computer dial the internet for 45 minutes, and then there was AOL. I didn't really get it so much at the time, exactly how big and powerful the internet was, and it was still kind of a baby back then. I just thought it was cool I could talk to my friends in text, especially since I was one of the most awkward middle schoolers of all time.

Fast forward 16 years later, I'm an internet junkie. Most of us are these days. Even the rare few who abstain from being completely immersed in social media are still carrying a smart phone and Googling things. But with great power, comes great responsibility. And frankly guys, you're kinda failing on the responsibility.

Anything you could possibly ever want to know is on the web. Every possible variety of question about anything, you can find an answer to. So you might see why I find it completely insane that so many people are using this really awesome thing we take for granted to say, sift through 1000's of disgruntled cat pictures and watch YouTube videos of people falling down. Sure, we all have our assorted guilty pleasure entertainment - really fake reality TV, trash semi porn novels (I'm talking to you, 50 Shades Of Overrated fans), pretty much any daytime TV, truly ignorant hip hop, etc. But here's the thing, those kind of guilty pleasures are supposed to be between you and your couch. Not you and your entire friends list.

Everyday, the ratio on my newsfeed is pretty much 20 asinine meme's to 1 well thought out, intelligent post. News sharing is practically nonexistent. It's gotten to the point where I almost miss MySpace cuz all that dumb shit was mostly confined to your profile instead of flooding everyone with it constantly. I'm not saying you should give up these guilty pleasure habits, but holy hell- just once in a while, can you read something that even borders on enriching your brain? Can you share something that isn't totally mind numbingly designed for instant gratification? If I wanted to see every someecard ever created, I'd go to the website.

The other aspect of how you're failing on the internet responsibility, the kids growing up now are dealing with something kids my age never did - internet bullying. Make all the excuses you want, this is just bad parenting. You should be raising your kids to understand that whether or not it's said to someone's face or done in person, bullying is bullying and is unacceptable, period. You should also be raising them to know better than to bully someone that's already a victim (i.e. the Steubenville Rapes or the Nova Scotia teen who committed suicide last week), but that's already a whole separate variety of bad parenting.

So, if you must, keep your really horrible brain cell killing internet habits. But at least train your kids to know that there is actually useful information, if you bother to look. Even if you can't be bothered to do better, you can at least do the one thing required of us as parents - do your job and make them smarter than you are.

Action!

"Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing." ~ Benjamin Franklin

I'll be doing the latter today.

Tough Love

Good morning, lads and lasses! I'm in an exceptionally good mood so far today, so I thought now might be a good time to discuss that I don't hate everything. I know it might legitimately seem that way, since I'm forever calling you idiots and lecturing you, but it's much more complicated than that. For the most part, I love people. They're forever different from one another and interesting in a unique way. I just don't like when people act like idiots.

So here's the thing, sure, I call you stupid. But mostly because, you have friends to coddle you and tell you how you're making all the right decisions and blah blah. But we all need some tough love and a reminder to be better than we are. Some people aren't lucky enough to have a friend that knows the appropriate time to for either support or skepticism. (Shoutout - ALA!<3) So mostly, I like to think the best thing I can do for you as a psuedo friend is offer the support of reminding you that you're not nearly as omnipresent as you think.

I want the best for all of you, really truly. But in my assorted watching, I see some of you making mistakes that are kinda obvious to me. Maybe no one is telling you it's a mistake. Someone needs to be. And if that means I have to play the villain, well, I'm kinda used to that.

Don't take it personally that I belabor the point that you're probably doing it wrong. Maybe marinate on your decisions a little longer so you have the piece of mind that what I'm saying no longer applies to you. But if you're under the impression that at some point I'm going to simply babble vapid encouragement, you're out of your fucking mind. Just because I'm a touch jaded doesn't mean I'm not totally right.

Besides, most of the time I have no idea what I'm doing, so you can probably learn from me, regardless. A solid half of my decisions are a guideline on What Not To Do, and I'm okay with that. I'd rather make a mistake than a regret, and all in all that's been going pretty okay for me. Either way, the point is that I know you're all good people, and maybe a little lost. And if I can be even vaguely a compass for someone struggling, that's all I can really ask for.

So yea, I don't hate you guys, in case you were wondering. Nothing but love, always.

XO<3B

Practice What You Preach

In the interest of not being a hypocrite, I'm mostly keeping MBTP posts here to a Monday through Friday status. If you guys decide to act like idiots on the weekend, I reserve the right to make an exception- but other than that... I have a To Do list that demands my attention.

See you Monday, kids!
XO<3B

Ten Years & What The Hell Are Your Plans?

Ten years seems like so much time, right? It's really not. I won't go off on the side note of explaining how your time is not infinite, cuz I'm pretty sure we've covered that already. Hopefully, you did your homework and know where you wanna be in ten years. I'm here to explain how you can actually get there.

First of all, if you said something along the lines of, "I wanna be a millionaire and have 7 homes and 12 cars and blah blah blah."- start over. Seriously. You can plan for success, but attempting to put a dollar amount on your success is absurd. Moving on, the trick to this is breaking it down. Make a list of the 10 year older version of yourself and assess the differences. If any of those have a standard dictated time frame, note that. If they require money in a pretty obvious denomination, note that too. Now work your way backwards. Continue to work backwards, breaking everything down into individual tasks, until you get to now.

You'll probably end up realizing that there's a bunch of things you're supposed to be doing now that you aren't. Adjust your behavior. But remember, a 10 year plan is just a plan. Plans change. Things change. You may want different things down the line. Generally, I suggest then making a separate 5 year and 1 year plan, and seeing exactly where the crossovers are, because that's generally the things you really care about that made the list. Don't plan the obvious shit like babies and so on, because that all happens when it's supposed to happen, and unless you're reproductively challenged it shouldn't be a consideration.

If you're sitting there thinking, "Why the hell should I bother? That sounds like too much work. Ain't nobody got time for that."- I have a reminder for you. When you're old as fuck and too tired to walk to your car, don't whine that your bucket list looks exactly the same as it did when you were 20. You can thank me later :)

A To Do For You

In lieu of lecturing/educating you today, I'm giving you a homework assignment:
Decide where you wanna be in ten years. What you want to be doing, where you'll be living, how your life is.
Dream big.
Tomorrow, we'll discuss.